My nipple is on Facebook.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
