What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
