About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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