I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize