you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm really busy with my period
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