but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
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Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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