God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
