yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
