If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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