sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
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