if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
