He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
