I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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