Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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