ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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