Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
