Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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