You work out of a Hotel?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
