Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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