I need to stop coming to work sober
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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