No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize