Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
