i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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