What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
