Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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