finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
