We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
