Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
