Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
