that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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