when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
