How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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