yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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