Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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