Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"

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