I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
