The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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