Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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