You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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