Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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