I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize