Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
