Can Purell be used as lube?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
