I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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