you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
