until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
