Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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