You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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