dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
