That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
