Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
