So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
