The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
