Where did you get a picture of my penis
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
