I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
