Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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