I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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