I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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