the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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