that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
